Lightyears

by hrmnzr

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about

"As we go through life, as we live and love and grow; Whether we know it or not, we are always moving forward. We meet new people, some only briefly. We fall in and out of Love. We find new things about ourselves that change us forever. Only when we look back and see how far we’ve come, do we realize how fast life can happen, and how soon something can be over. And while we may leave our old selves and our old friends and lovers behind, they’re never truly gone.

“Lightyears” is the Final Release from hrmnzr.

And even though it’s the end. It’s one that’ll take us farther than we’ve ever dreamed; Dare us to Love with more of our heart than ever before. And after that, who knows? You might find yourself light years away from who you were before."
-ValorieVs (twitter.com/Crash_Pit)

credits

released December 25, 2015

Each track has its own art!! Check out the track pages or download the album and check out the included art booklet to see it. (It's all VERY good!)

Thanks to all who contributed to the music!!:
Cory Pangilinan (twitter.com/endlessmusings)
Mikki Morae AKA Saturdays on Saturn (soundcloud.com/bye-mikki)
Mal Mcg
Michael Guy Bowman AKA Bowman (bowman.bandcamp.com)
Jijo (soundcloud.com/irllink)
Julia Menyhart AKA Jules (soundcloud.com/harrtern)
Marcy Nabors (twitter.com/Shadolith)
Samm Neiland (twitter.com/SammNeiland)
Esabelle Ryngin (esabelleryngin.com)
Cameron Crowley AKA Crownley (crownley.bandcamp.com)

and, of course, all those who contributed the wonderful art!!:
Anna Keefe (kingidols.tumblr.com)
Esabelle Ryngin (esabelleryngin.com)
Nainati (nainati.tumblr.com)
Kit Velez (fr-nkieromustdie.tumblr.com)
Maybegirl (maybegirl.com)
Runegod (runegod.tumblr.com)
Jijo (www.instagram.com/irllink)
Shannon Murphy (shannonarts.tumblr.com)
Mushbuh (twitter.com/mushbuh)
Anya (yellowtie.tumblr.com)
Cochet V. (mamancochet.tumblr.com)
Mikki Morae (twitter.com/grimbark)

Check individual track pages or the included art booklet for song credits
Album art by Jijo (www.instagram.com/irllink)

Jamie Paige Stanley is hrmnzr



Dream 0
"Prelude"

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hrmnzr Houston, Texas

PRONOUNCED LIKE "HARMONIZER"

Jamie Paige is a cool trans woman from Houston, Texas and this is one of her cool bandcamp pages

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Track Name: Wait It Out
i woke up on the floor again
and i was dreamin bout you
i opened up the door again
and let the wind blow through
and even though you say we will be fine
ive got anxiety
cause i dont know about the place or time
where we will finally meet

what if its really true
what if me and you will never see this through
but i just hope you’re fine
so that you will be yours and i can just be mine

now i can see why things are harder now
because we’ve grown some more
and i have changed and you have changed a lot
but what is it all for
you say you hold me back a bit
and i just disagree
i think that i was meant for you
and you were meant for me

what if it’s really true
what if me and you will never see this through
but i just hope you’re fine
so that we can be best friends again sometime

what if it’s really true
what if me and you will never see this through
but i know we’ll be fine
so lets wait it out and let it take some time
Track Name: New Beat (feat. Cory Pangilinan)
hearing whispers
falling all around my head
posing questions
answers lost around the bend
intonations
words and sounds are all drowned out
left with silence
find a way to discover just how

we all
have our scenes and our alibis
i'm tired
of arranging my goodbyes
and the setting around me fades
salt is washed up on my shore
how i'm longing to see that face
once more

and i know that the pavement lies beneath my feet
let it crack let it all give way to the rushing sea
and i know that the concrete's solid crushing gray
let it break for my sake so i can find my way

lie around here
find your seat and look around
listen closely
tell me everything you found
hear the static washing out all common sense
hear the whispers floating round my mind
i am left alone, so spare me no expense
blinded i can't look beyond

all this
cloudy fog blotting out the sky
dismiss

and i know that the pavement lies beneath my feet
let it crack let it all give way to the rushing sea
and i know that the concrete's solid crushing gray
let it break for my sake so i can get away

have you wondered what might hide behind the beat
when you walk and you talk and there's nothing to believe
and i know that the conversation's over, hey,
nothing left, take a breath, man, you don't have to stay
Track Name: Autobend (feat. Saturdays on Saturn)
blue sky
early in the morning
will I ever find the time
to think of how you loved me

I think of all your colors
think of all the voices
telling me I love her
and I know that I am crying

but I know it’ll be alright soon
and I know that you will always,

find me
when I need you most, I can call you home
and you always will find a way
find me
come and save the day, I am not afraid
I will always adore you

but I know that you will be alright soon
and I know that you may end and move on
please shine bright like a star
let it beam out from your heart
Track Name: Castor
I was born being told that heroes only lived in shows
they were false and only images of blind and stupid hope
but I always knew that someday I could find a piece of light
and shine it on the whole world

I can only dream of mending
every single seam and opening
I can fix the sky
we can open wide
let the sunlight in to shine upon your face again

someday we can fix this memory
sew up every crack and opening
we can fix the sky
we can open wide
let the sunlight in and
(shine)

i still have hope that someday
you and me can work together
i still have hope that someday
we can see some nicer weather

all my dreams and all my memories
everything’s alive and blooming
we can fix the sky
we can open wide
let the sunlight in to shine upon the world again
Track Name: Like Clockwork (feat. Bowman & GUMI English)
do you still love me
the way I love you?
oh it's been oh so long since I've had a clue
now it's mid-july and I'm missing you
your eyes illuminate the dark
they pierce my chest straight through my heart
now I can barely hear your words
that lonely sound is all I've heard

just like clockwork
let's turn back time
I'll be yours again
and you'll be mine
just like clockwork
let's make things right
ticking on again
you are my light

oh why rely on last july?
you're all wound up on a memory
going tick tick tick into history
time ain't hands on a face
no LED's, just hours and days
they don't hang around, they just pass through
you can't turn back what's turning you

just like clockwork
let's turn back time (oh, you can't turn back time)
I'll be yours again
and you'll be mine (you must be out of your mind)
just like clockwork
let's make things right (you'll never make it right)
ticking on again
you are my light (it's only in your mind)

well, don't try to talk about it
like it all was only yesterday
oh, don't you pretend to know
they way it'd go if you were there today
Track Name: Sticks and Stones and Tape and Glue
its times like these where everything just seems to cave right in upon me
i feel so lonely
its times like these where nothing else can get to me everything is meaningless
i miss your tenderness
ooooh but i dont know what path that i have
stumbled upon
is this going wrong?

oh tell me why do the stars shine a little brighter when you’re near me
why do i feel this feeling
oh tell me why do i feel the need to save whats already failing
b/c it’s worth saving
ooooh but darling i cant seem to find
peace of mind
but i still try

I CAN FIX MYSELF
tape and glue to fix up little wounds
I CAN FIX MYSELF
sticks and stones i wont let break my bones

it’s times like these determination aint enough to bring me safety
i need some help, please
and even in the darkest night, i need some help some friendship by my side
to stay alive
ooooh but i know where the weight of it all
will have to fall
ill take it all
Track Name: Ocean Song
I will flow across the water
I will swim across the sea
dreaming of the starry sky and of the moon I start to think about
you and me

I will throw the tide upon us
I can wash us both ashore
thinking of the time and of celestial bodies sprawled across the sky
you and I will never be alone
Track Name: List of Change (feat. Jijo)
i guess you could say that i don’t try
i guess you could say that i cry too much
i guess you could say I’m lazy and useless
i guess you could say I’m stupid and worthless

i wish you would say I’m charming and strong
i wish that you would prove me so wrong
i know that you can’t, believe me i know it
i wish that you could but you can’t and i know it

try and try and try to change
i’ll try and try and try to change
i’ll try again and try again
i wish i could change, i wish i could change

i never feel like doing any schoolwork
(no homework please)
i never feel like going out with friends
(as if i had any)
boys are uninteresting, girls are uninterested
i want to change, i want to change

i never feel like going and job hunting
(I’ve got no money)
i never feel like going to church
(and so to hell with me)
girls are uninteresting, boys are uninterested
i just can’t change, i will not change

i guess i could try, but that’s too much work
i guess i should cry, but that doesn’t work
i am uninteresting, i am uninterested
i will not change, i will not change

try and try to try to change
i’ll make a list of things to change
i’ll start a gust of wind how strange
i’ll blow away my list of change

i cut off all my ties with my relatives (no family)
i cut off all my ties with all my friends (why don’t you love me)
family they don’t care and friends have stopped caring
though so have i, i just can’t die

I’ve started staring at the wall more often (all of these walls)
i can’t help but think it’s kinda strange (like I’m gonna fall)
therapist visits and doctors and fidgets
I’ve changed too much, I’ve changed too much

i should try to go back, but that doesn’t work
I’m starting to crack, it’s starting to hurt
this is too interesting, i am too interested
i don’t want to change, i don’t want to change

try and try to try to change
i’ll make a list of change to make
i’ll make a gust of wind how strange
i’ll stop i’ll keep my list of change

I’ve started staring at the wall more often
i can’t help but think it’s kinda strange
girls are uninteresting, boys are uninterested
boys are uninteresting, girls are uninterested

i wish you would say I’m charming and strong
i wish that you would prove me so wrong
i know that you can’t, believe me i know it
i wish that you could but you can’t and i know it
Track Name: Boutique (feat. Jules)
feet glued down and im still stuck just as i always have been
stuck along the sidelines cheering for the ones ahead of me
waiting for the next chance to come by, cause bye is all ive ever heard, and hurt's the only thing ive yet to know
comfort in numbers is what keeps me counting sheep, but it doesnt change the fact that when i wake ill be alone again
made me feel like this every single day, but each word you spoke made me feel like i was on ecstacy

am i wrong to think that you wanted me
i can't keep waiting, for you like this
it hurts to see you smiling so happily, dont you remember those days, down by the beach

wont you please, take my hand my dear and help me stear clear of this
do you love me, do you not? were you honest or just get caught?
i know it's all a lie by now, but how could you leave me here lying on the dirt
do i trust you, do i not? is this not over or can i stop?
can't help wanting you, thinking back to when you looked at me that way
you let go and i end up alone, lost the fight long ago

one foot forward and i start to move, one step after another, and
memories are all that's left of you, im glad to say
leaves fall down as the seasons change, and violet skies and autumn nights push me to better days, ones where i dont think of you
spent too many many hours wishing i could be the one that would be able to light up your life, i hate to admit but i can't deny it's true
windows down and im travelling to places id never thought id go
leaving the only thing i seem to know, close up shop and face the future

i keep on desperately and yet inevitably falling, falling in love again
Track Name: Lightyears (feat. Marcy Nabors)
new and small
miniature and bottled up in glass
someone calls
the thought is lost because you let it pass
time and space
books and knowledge filling up your head
in your face
the possibilities unlimited

i long for something better
we’ll find our way together

something else
is finding its own way into my mind
feelings felt
these things that i perceive cannot be mine
things unknown
(it’s up to you to make things better)
the universe sprawled out in front of me
(just let this water make it wetter)
all alone
(don’t let this storm make things badder)
where nothing’s peaceful in my memories

somewhere in the vast universe
await your dreams
set aside your fears
miles? continents away?
who can say?
maybe lightyears
Track Name: Tsunami [Parts 1 & 2] (feat. Saturdays on Saturn)
(part 1)

i know you’re not the best right now
i know that times have gotten rough
i know that you and i might fall apart
i know i couldnt show enough oh just how much i love you
it’s plain to see
that you and i were meant to be
and even if it means my life i’ll be there for you time and time again
until the heavens die
ill find a way for you and i
ill find the tiniest bit of light and shine it all upon you now

let it show
i know that you’re my only
let it grow
you dont have to be so lonely
and the water
will make it better
and the waves
will make it wetter
and the storms
they come and go
but you have to stick around
so you and i can play the show

(part 2)

I needed time to stay away
I'm sure that's how it had to end

there were things that had been said and
I thought I'd never love again
what to do with the constant reminders of you

"hey, how are ya?"
"I've be fine"
senseless small talk all the time
"I've missed you"

I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused
you say it's fine but it wasn't your fault this time
I'm lonely, and overwhelmed
how can I fix this on my own

disappearing is all I'm going to do
if I can't solve my own issues
I'm sorry, for all the trouble I've caused
because it was not you
(because it was not you, how can I fix this on my own)

I am falling, downward spiral
I can't help but think about
all that life would be
when you are not near me

it's alright and I'm okay
and it's so crazy
all the ways you loved me
please stay evergreen
Track Name: Goodbye Sadness
dear me
I know it's been long since we last talked
can you see
our relationship is sitting on jagged rocks
there's an issue here
it's something that I've always feared
my inner child needs more than I can give
there's a problem here
it's time for me to face my fears
I need to learn to love so I can live

dear you
i know it’s been long since i have talked to you
yes it’s true
without you i could be bright i would not be blue
there’s tension here
arguments i’ve always feared
depression has got me in a cage
there’s a lesson here
from people i hold near and dear
i just need to open up my ears

the lady in the middle, hair of red
“if love that’s close is love you dread
just offer love dont force it you’ll be safe”
and the man in the middle playing guitar says
“don’t you worry, buddy, 'cause you’ll go far
elephants and mice all mean the same”
and the man in the arena we all see says
“if you’re trapped, you can get free
nobody can tell you what you’re worth”
and the two girls whispering tales of love say
“put your faith in your own above
there’s nothing that’s more beautiful than you”

so goodbye sadness
i dont need to see you around no more
goodbye sadness
now you’re gone and i can open up the door
Track Name: For Mikki
silently spiraling up again
i feel it now
spectacular pouring down
aiming for anything higher than
the rain clouds
fantastical ringing out
i know there’s something better
i know it’s somewhere out there
i know if i keep looking
i’ll find it somewhere waiting

everything i do
i do it all for you
anything and everything
you know you mean the world to me
everything i do
i do it all

for mikki
sugarplum sweetie pie you’re my darling
mikki
angelface universe you’re so charming
see the world open wide
i feel the warmth and i sigh
you’re the sun in my sky
you’re the love of my life

everything coming around again
it’s wonderful
you are my whole wide world
flying around and around again
my heart is full
you are my only girl
i know there’s nothing better
than being with my sweetheart
i’ll never keep on looking
i found it out here waiting